The bright colors of fall have been replaced with the glitter of the holidays. I watch the last leaf fall from the plum tree in my yard and try to hold back the memories of what was. I look at the pane’s gray sky cut into sections by vapor trails left behind by the big jets filled with people that have places to go. Do people like me have anywhere to go? They are only thoughts, not harbingers of what will be. I remind myself again that I decide.      

     Like so many others in this world, the winds of change have found me more than a little introspective and unprepared for the holidays. The patterns of the past no longer hold. Where there once were the memories of events to build on, now there is a blank sheet in need of a new image. What colors do I chose? What lines do I draw? What still lingers from the past that should be held on to? No matter how I lay my image out, it comes out the same. The only real value the holidays have had for me was in giving. In this I have come to believe; I’m not alone. What do I have to give?    The act of giving has two parts, most only see one. Most people only see the first part of the equation. The easy part is that someone passes something to someone else. The second part is often over looked, a gift must be received. Without acceptance, a gift can become an impersonal donation.     

     This year I have decided to make the holiday season personal. Gathering the best from my past and bringing it into my present. This, for anyone that has experienced life changing events, knows how difficult this may seem. As no experience can be twined together I have chose the simple things. The perfect moments were born of laughter and kindness.     

     In the years past the advent of Thanksgiving was a time spent with friends and family. For most of my marriage, my wife and I, had what we called ‘orphans Thanksgiving’. In this we would make our home open to anyone that needed a place to share the day. It seemed that there was always more than needed. It could be in part that the joy of being able to share with others eclipsed any lack, real or imagined. This was also the time when decorations for the season were brought out, and Sheryl would begin the transformation of our home, turning it into a different world, a world of deep greens and a about 1400 bright lights. This was her gift to our small family. The handmade ornaments and lights are gone now. The displaced friends now have families of their own. Our daughter will be with her mom this year, and it is I that will be seeking the warmth and the laughter.   

     After only a few calls I found that there are a number of places for me to go and help on Thanksgiving Day, or if I only want a place to share a nice meal, there is that as well. The nice thing being, they are not all churches. Service organizations, like the Lions, Eagles, and the Odd Fellows often have something to offer. The group Love I.N.C has a list of places to go in Lapeer County (Love INC 735 West Nepessing Street Lapeer, MI 48446 or call (810) 245-2414).  

Venturing a little further I found that The District, in Lake Orion www.thedistrictvenue.com would be offering music, spoken word, and an environment that echoes what I feel the season should be. People sharing what they can, without expectations, appeals to me.  

     It has become apparent to me that we all have something to give. In one conversation I was asked if I would like to bring my guitar. Another place told me that some help putting chairs away after the Thanksgiving dinner, would be a big help. Yes, they are small things, but they are things that I can do. I might need to make a list, help set up at one place, eat at another, and clean up at another. Not a bad day for someone that no longer has the family he once had. Things change, but at the core of it we can still find the spark of what made something good.   

     I have put most of this in my own perspective, but in truth everyone faces changes. Children grow up, friends move away, families fall apart, but there are still so many things one can do.

The Thanksgiving Day Parade in Detroit is still free, and perhaps the weather will be kind. There are holiday lights being turned on in most of our towns and cities. In every community there are toys and gifts being gathered for those that are in need. In bikers or outdoorsmen, businesses or churches, the real magic of the holidays can be found. You might not have the money to give, you might be the recipient of that kindness sometime, but there is always room for you to take a place in Michigan at a community level.     

     I have not decided on my direction for Thanksgiving Day. I have found that I have many choices. The rest of the weekend I will have my daughter back, and we will pull out the few Christmas decorations that we have made. Small ornaments from clay, origami birds made from colored foil. We will brave the state lands, gathering dried leaves and rose hips. Upon our return we will drink hot Vernor’s and decorate with our treasures. We will laugh remembering the tree that was too big to get into the house, even with our thirteen foot ceilings, when she was little. We will remember the small tree that she and I cut down last year and for a little while, let the memories keep us warm.

-Tin Man